the world is quiet here

Monday, 11 October 2010

Hamlet the B.A.M.F.

Perhaps you read and disliked Hamlet as a child. Perhaps you accidentally once stumbled upon the Mel Gibson version of Hamlet on tv some evening-- the one in which Ophelia looks as though she might someday have a fling with Sweeney Todd.

...Or perhaps you ran into my classroom this morning considerably disturbed, at times shouting insults to William "the king" Shakespeare, at others wailing because you thought the 3 weeks you've spent on hamlet would have been better spent training crickets to chant like a choir of monks.

Perpare to be schooled, and meet here the method of your tutlage:

10 Reasons Hamlet is Cooler Than Us All*

  • Hamlet is from Denmark. And he was an actual guy. 
  • The Lion King is based on the story.
  • It talks about all the stupidity and craziness of everyday life that you, oh French I student, talk about all the time.
  • It is one of the first books in which a "crazy" guy is a hero.
  • It has the quote: "Revenge should know no bounds." And while that's not really inspiring, you can't say it isn't badass.
  • Hamlet was probably about your age.
  • Because he can even care for somebody as annoying as Ophelia.
  • Hamlet is kind of a dork, and when Ophelia breaks up with him, he's like "no way! i liked you so much" and then "i never even liked you anyway, nunnery waif." and then "dang it, really?!? i liked you so much" again. 
  • Ohpelia spends her free (crazy) time hanging from flowers tied to trees. This did end up killing her though, so...
  • Shakespear universally allows his jesters to tell the truth. (My favorite being the fool in the 12th night, but yorick's cameo is pretty cool too.)
you never know. 
like some of those greek myths that are such poop, and then oh hey! great ending. 
(Warning: If you do finish this and don't like it, never, ever read Romeo and Juliette.)

*i reserve the right to not believe in these at all, although it is me who's making the list. 


  1. This post spurred me to google "Hamlet," which, of course, led me to Wikipedia. I highly encourage you to look at the second picture in the "Feminist" section of this article: you will not be disappointed.
    I also want to add that my physics professor is from Denmark, is an actual guy, and has Google Kalendarz rather than Google Calendar. He also holds office hours with no shoes on. Can we go to Denmark?

  2. oh. my. god. a thong leotard! i had no idea there was even a market for those! excellent sighting!

    and yes. yes is the answer to your question.

  3. oh also. take a gander at this sentence right next to the infamous thong-leotard:
    Feminist theorists argue that she [ophelia] goes mad with guilt because, when Hamlet kills her father, he has fulfilled her sexual desire to have Hamlet kill her father...


  4. That Hamlet article was so much more interesting than I anticipated! I'm almost tempted to read the play now!
    PS- 100% of the people who voted on the villain poll agree with me

  5. :( the internet ate the eye tattoo I added to the end of that post

  6. Internet you are black at heart! Hollow and black! Don't you know I wanted to see this incredible eye tatoo??