the world is quiet here

Friday, 15 October 2010

trick-or-treat to the max

Who doesn't love halloween...the only day it's cool to lean over to a stranger and whisper, "hey, what are you gonna be wearing tonight?" 
yes, halloween. yes, again!

In my opinion, there are three main ingredients for a perfect celebration of this holyish day:
1. the best costume ever.
2. a trick-or-treat strategy.
3. the scariest movie of all time.

1. okay, so the costume. expensive or home-made, it is required to include either a sparkle, felt, or humorous design.
take these two examples:

the first is an old favorite if you are going for something timeless and a little bit dangerous...
 a jellyfish.
8 No-Sew Costumes: Bubble Wrap Jellyfish

but let's go one better... (and this is thanks to liz):
the pterodactyl dionsaur monster

catch your breath, because...

because when you are dressed as a pterodactyl dionsaur monster, you always win.

2. now that you have the perfect costume, let's move on to the trick-or-treat strategy.
there are some basic guidelines that are generally adhered to...

It's ok:
-to scream "your pumpkins are on fire!" to clear the path to the house your pal just told you was running low on twix.
-to headbutt any neighbor who dares hand you a toothbrush
-to hip check a toddler who gets between you and smarties

It's less ok:
-to rape, pillage and plunder because you have chosen to dress as a viking
-to strangle and devour people walking past you because you're going as the sphinx
-that's pretty much it.

Best strategies running:
1) grab a partner, to help you find your way back if you accidentally go on a treating marathon and end up in the next town. (make sure this parnter's costume is smashing, and it would help if they have been to the junior olympics for anything long-distance.)
2) if you want to be a trick-or-treat champion, there is absolutely no tolerance for stilettos, wedges and pumps. (you'll just have to say no to that cool looking Louis the 16th costume.)
3) practice your trip several times beforehand, making sure you can walk continuously between the hours of 4pm-9pm. remember: you must never take a rest! 

3. and finally! the movie! i am being discriminating here, and not choosing any movies that have jump-out-of-your-seat moments.
 why? well, because instead of the socially acceptable response to things that jump out at you (jumping and perhaps emitting a tiny shriek) i tend to go the socially unacceptable route (wetting myself).

so what movie will do? this year i have chosen The Innocents (1961) based on The Turn of the Screw.
what is sacrier than a nanny who can convince you to be cuckoo? few things.

49. 'The Innocents' (1961)

that's the last strategy covered.
now you are ready to go out, leaping and dancing toward a pillowcase full of candy and the best halloween ever!


  1. Toddlers should absolutely be hip checked. I think stiff armed as well.

  2. I HATED the Turn of the Screw! Worst. Book. Ever.! Ok, that's a lie...Heart of Darkness wins for worst book ever...

    But seriously! Most criticism written about Turn of the Screw is like, "The character is seeing ghosts because she's sexually frustrated!" because you know... everyone who sees ghosts need to go out on a huge sleeping-with-everyone-in-sight binge.

    Hahahaha...I'm so lame! Out of that entire post I manage to rant about something practically unrelated! hehe.

    I LOVE the jelly fish costume though! Why have I never seen that before!?